Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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