sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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