it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
