i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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