I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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