chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
