Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
