I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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