I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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