carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
