Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
