I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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