it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
