Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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