you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
