PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
operation harelip BJ is a go
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
