Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
