Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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