I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
