We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
