a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
