Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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