hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
In America we eat man semen.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
