dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
