i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize