Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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