I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize