girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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