we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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