we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
