I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize