Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
