Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
