I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
