Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
