Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
