can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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