Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
