i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
