Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
