Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Come see our sink grown plant.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize