Midget sex pt 2 tonight
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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