I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well most of my day revolves around power hour
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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