I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize