i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize