i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
