Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
