dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
being pregnant is like rehab
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
