Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
