1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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