That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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