So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
