I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
