My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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