how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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