I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
