theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
