Your face is a jimmy john
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
